This time, prospects are slim. Not good for me, that's for sure. Maybe I shoulda worked on things with a plan again this time...with an order of how I was gonna do things. Oh well...I didn't.
All in all I feel good. I'm confident that although it ain't easy...it is the right thing to do. I've survived this once before, I'll survive this time as well.
I hate that over the past almost 9 years I've allowed him to push away almost all of my friends. The only "old" friends I have left are the ones that live far enough away that they didn't get the ever so lightly but constant push away from me. I can see it now but I didn't at the time.
The bad thing is that they're all still far away. I miss you guys!
I have a few "new" friends & they're great. Of course that gets me told that I'm acting weird or crazy hanging with "new" people, but at least they make me smile.most of the time instead of sit around emotionless or curled up in a ball in the corner of my closet crying.
My head is pounding but (sure it's a big surprise)...I'm not sleepy! So, I'm laid crossways on my bed in the dark, rambling to nobody on my phone. Hmmm...maybe I am crazy. Oh well!
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