If it was nothing, it wouldn't be so blasted hard. If it was nothing, I wouldn't fight so hard to hide it. If it was nothing, I wouldn't be ashamed of feeling so different. If it was nothing, every day wouldn't be as much of a struggle. Depression sucks. Anxiety sucks. "Normal" people don't understand...they have no idea of how exhausting it is just to breathe some days. I've had family members tell me that I need to "get over it...it's all in my head" & they're right. I would love to get over it...it is in my head. But I'm not this way by choice. I don't wake up in the morning & tell myself that I'm going to be an emotional basketcase who is intimidated by every person I encounter that day. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to feel so alone. I don't want to avoid people. I want to be normal. I'd love to be able to sit down & talk to a person without feeling awkward. I'd like to feel comfortable enough to say I'm having a bad day. I'd like to not feel like I have to hide myself from the world because the "normal" people will think less of me for being this way.
