Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Attitude is everything.

Julie posted this earlier today on her MySpace blog. I've read it several times since. I am re-posting it here b/c maybe it will help a few people "see" why I always try to make the best of things.

Read it, read it again & really think about it. My choice is to be happy. My choice is to somehow find something good in everything that seems so bad.

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.' Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?' I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live..'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked.

He continued, '...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'. Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude...I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

The 3 wise monkeys

The Three Wise Monkeys have names:

Mizaru (See no evil)
Mikazaru (Hear no evil)
Mazaru (Speak no evil).

Sunday, August 17, 2008

...some story writing time (2)

The bell rang and she was off to the parking lot to find her ride. She looked around & spotted the truck but not her cousin. Instead she found her cousin's boyfriend & his older brother. They explained that they were the replacement drivers because her cousin had been sidetracked with getting things ready for the party & asked them to help out. She loaded up & they were all on their way.

They all made small talk & the ride was enjoyable. The older brother seemed nice enough; this was the first time she had met him. They all laughed about how things were planned out in order for her to be gone all weekend. As far as her parents knew, she was staying with a friend from school like many other weekends before. The fact that she would be about an hour away from there was something that they would have never agreed to.

The trio made it to their destination unscathed. But that was about where the "going as planned" part ended. They had made a couple stops on the way to stock up on the party essentials such as alcohol & ice. As they unloaded the truck, she was greeted by a not-so-happy boyfriend. For the past couple weeks they had been an "item" & for the past several hours, he had been cramming for the party. She smelled the beer on his breath. He demanded to know where they had been & why it had taken them so long to get there.

A little jealousy wasn't unusual from him & she blew it off fairly quickly. After all, how mad could he really be? It was his best friend driving & his best friend's brother along for the ride. Surely he didn't think that they'd make a move on "his" girl. Since his best-friend was dating her cousin & this was his birthday party, he definitely had no reason to move in on her. Since she had never even met the older brother, it wouldn't have made a lot of sense to worry there either.

Darkness fell & the bonfires were lit. The music blasted from the back of the house & everybody was having a good time. In spite of the fires blazing, the September darkness brought a chill along with it as well. He was still acting a little strange & told her that if she was cold, he'd be more than happy to keep her warm. Taking this more as a joke than anything else, she went back to the truck she had came in to get her jacket.

The older brother of her cousin's boyfriend followed her out in hopes of checking on her & how things were going with the jealous boyfriend. She told him that things were fine & that he wasn't upset anymore. She explained it all away as just missing her. She took her things from the truck & carried them inside. After searching through, she realized that there was no jacket. The older brother grabbed an extra out of his truck which she graciously borrowed. He told her to watch out & be careful with her boyfriend. He had been around earlier & heard some plans being made that she had no awareness of. She told him that he was just blowing it out of proportion & that everything would be fine. She didn't think anymore about it.

When she returned wearing somebody else's jacket, her boyfriend threw a fit. After slamming her up against the truck he was standing beside, he quickly let her go & began to apologize. She was shaken a bit but "knew" that it was just the beer talking. He told her that he wanted her to go with him to the pool house b/c he wanted to help him pick out some new music to turn on. The speakers were pulled around the sides of the house, but the stereo was stationed in the pool house.

He seemed to be a little more logical & she began to feel a little more at ease. Then out of nowhere, all hell broke loose.

He did change the music, in more ways than one. Before going back to the party, he again began to apologize for the jealous behavior. He picked her up and sat her on the poolside table. He started out by explaining that his jealousy was not meant to scare her

Teenage boys always seem to be filled with an endless supply of bullshit & he was not unlike the rest of them in that manner. He told her that he didn't want to share her with anybody else, that he wanted to have her all to himself. He moved in closer to her as he spoke.

The tone of the apology didn't remain as such for long. He told her how that night was "their night" & how nobody was going to take that away from him. He told her that she was there to be with him & nobody else.

He slammed her down on the metal table. As she struggled against him, he laughed & told her that it didn't matter if she fought him or if she screamed. The music was so loud that nobody was going to hear her. The contrasting music from the trucks in front would help drown out any noise she could make.

He used the jacket she wore against her by pulling it partially down her arms. She could feel & taste the blood on her lip from where he hit her after first pinning her on that table. She felt like her face was on fire. For the first time in her life she started realizing that she couldn't always control what happened to her. He had her pinned down and even though she tried, she couldn't manage to free herself. He just kept pressing into her, telling her that until she stopped fighting, he wouldn't let up. He told her that there was no reason to fight something they both wanted.

She did finally stop struggling so hard. She couldn't believe what was happening to her. While he was on top of her telling her how this was what they had both been looking forward to, all she could do was cry. Every time she tried to stop him she got the crap beat out of her. After what seemed like eternity, she managed to get her leg interlaced through one of the chairs. It crashed into the pool & that made him even more furious with her.

She could feel the diamond pattern of the table pressing into the flesh of her back. The edge of the metal table was cutting into her wrists that he had pinned behind her back.

She heard a voice call out & it startled her attacker. He jumped off of her and told the voice to go on that things were fine there. The voice continued coming towards them and she recognized the older brother of her cousin's boyfriend. She yelled out for him to help.

When everybody realized that everybody else realized what was going on, the attack on her stopped and the attack on the attacker began. She ran to the pool house and wrapped herself in a blanket that she had found. Her cousin was right behind the older brother and rushed to her side.

The voices from the pool finally had gained enough volume that others heard it. When the fight was pulled apart, the attacker didn't try to retaliate. Somebody was caring enough & unaware enough of what had really happened to call an ambulance. The final ruling to the attacker included several broken ribs, a collection of stitches to the face & a broken arm.

The severe-ness of the fight put an end to the party. She refused to allow either of the witnesses to reveal what had really happened. She told them that she would deny anything happened if they put her on the spot. Due to the nature of the injuries, the police were notified.

The only 2 witnesses to what had happened told the police in front of the attacker that the fight had occurred b/c he refused to hand over his keys. It was very obvious that he was loaded with alcohol. They alleged that when he demanded that she leave with him that she refused and he lost it and hit her. That is when they went on to say that the fight between the guys ensued. All accounts put the attacked instigating the entire ordeal & that the fight causing these injuries was self-defense & provoked.

Despite the alcohol intake, the fight was quite sobering. He at least had the brains to see that their story was his ticket out of a whole heap of trouble.

She sat there curled up in that blanket in the corner of the pool house. At times, she's still there in her mind; she stays there & refuses to accept what happened.