Changes...

Sometimes (most of the time for me) change is not an easy thing...but without change there is no progress.

This year has been constant change for me...lost weight, working again, new house, relationships...  It hasn't been easy, there were a lot of days I wanted to stop & turn around, but I am proud of myself for not giving in or giving up.  

I don't like that people are hurting as a result of my progress, but it feels good to finally take care of myself instead of only trying to make everybody else happy.  It feels good to be happy.  It feels good to smile.  

Goo Goo Dolls- Iris

GOO GOO DOLLS
"Iris"

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Broken soul...

I try (usually successfully) to put on a happy & strong face but inside I'm still the same broken soul that I've been for years.  I've tried to sit down & write but I just can't.   I don't know what I'm doing, how to do it, or even how to explain it.