Yesterday was my birthday. I always silently think to myself that "this" will be the year. The year that I feel that it's finally MY day. The year that I feel somebody truly cares enough to make me smile. The year that it doesn't feel just like any other day. I had a lot of "happy birthday" posts on FaceBook. But what is that anyways? You log in & get a notification saying it's somebody's birthday & FaceBook basically tells you to tell them happy birthday. WooHoo! My mom called. My kids called. My husband sent me a text late in the afternoon saying happy birthday & that he hadn't forgotten. That was IT. That was all of my birthday.
I'm not saying I need flashing neon banners or big extravagant gifts. I don't. It would just be nice to feel like it mattered that I was born.
In all my years, I can only remember having ONE birthday party. I was 4 or 5. I had a blue dress & a doll cake. One of those that had a doll stuck in the top & the cake was her skirt. I'm not even sure if I actually remember it or if I saw a picture somewhere. Doesn't really matter...that is my only birthday memory.
This was a big one too. 40. Nothing...just like any other day...exactly as I figured it would be. Maybe next year...but I've learned by now...I'm not holding my breath.
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